Self confidence test

Self confidence test

 

Take this handy self confidence test.

 

OK, so you may finally have realized that you get pulled into situations every now and again that you really don't want to do. You literally want to kick yourself for volunteering to do things that make you cringe. Why did I say OK to this? You say to yourself. "I'm such a sucker. A pushover. Everyone wants me to do everything all of the time, why?" Well, you should start by asking youself why, first...

 

How To Gauge It

 

A simple test. The next time a friend asks you if you would bake cookies for a party or fix their refrigerator for the fifth time, do this simple test in your head: Ask yourself, "On a scale of one to ten, how bad do I want to partake in this activity, etc.? How much do I really desire to do this? If your answer is anywhere from 5 and below, you truly do not want to do what you've been asked. If your answer is 6 and up, you may have some interest in the specific activity and you just have to get yourself mentally, emotionally, or physically "ready" to do it. You may be just experiencing a lazy streak. But, for those that answered 5 and below, you really have to ask yourself just how much you want to be pushed and controlled by others. What are you getting out of it? Are you "doing" simply for approval, or the other person's desires and needs? Or, can't you say the word "no"?

 

If you have trouble saying "no" because you feel it tramples on people's feelings, put the idea out of your head and fast. Know how? Just try to remember how tired and haggard YOU felt the last time you agreed to do something that you didn't want to do "in your heart" for someone. How used and unfulfilling was this? It is a wonderful gift to be giving and most times, you get more than enough in return. But, this information is geared toward those who have been pushed to the limits with giving and have crossed the line from "giving" to "duty". You know who you are out there!

 

Confidence Takes Practice and Guts

 

Now, is when confidence comes into the picture. If you are at a party and you have a headache and wish to leave early, how do you handle it? Do you say to the host, "My husband is not feeling well and we are going to go now", or make up some silly excuse to leave or lie? Do you react by saying, "You know we had a great time tonight, but for some reason, I'm feeling a little under the weather and I think we should go now." The right and ethical answer is the last one. But, because of the lack of confidence in most of us, we cannot handle ourselves like this in certain situations, and thus, we compromise our confidence, our place, our self esteem and our straightforwardness or lack of it.

 

Keep it Real

 

Another example: If you are an employer, and are recruiting for a new position and an applicant asks for some feedback or the status of his/her application and/or test do you tell them, "We can't make a decision right now based on your test," or not call them back? Do you not give them any information at all when they call to ask about where they stand? In this case, a good way to react that is confident and straightforward would be something like this: "I realize you wanted some feedback on where you stand in the interview process. I have taken a good look at your application and test and think that they are good, but feel that you do not have the style/qualities/abilities we are looking for at this time. I really appreciate you taking the time to interview with us and wish you the best of luck in your job search."

 

It is not hard to bolster your confidence level. Follow the few tips and examples above; alter your style and way of thinking. Think in terms of how you would like to be treated. Always go inside of yourself and ask the deeper questions when it comes to saying no, and regarding ethics and principles. Your confidence will build based on good morals, some deeper thought, and a good old fashioned dose of honesty.