Thinking Out of the Box


Every company has a performance appraisal system in place to measure the effectiveness of its employees.
Employees are normally rated in most of the companies in the above categories. Apart from the above non performance category is also there, which is not depicted here ) . Needless to say everyone wants to be rated Outstanding.
What is the yard stick and how do you measure these aspects?

  • Employee "A" in a company walked up to his manager and asked what my job is for the day?
  • The manager took "A" to the bank of a river and asked him to cross the river and reach the other side of the bank.
  • "A" completed this task successfully and reported back to the manager about the completion of the task assigned. The manager smiled and said "GOOD JOB"

Next day Employee "B" reported to the same manager and asked him the job for the day. The manager assigned the same task as above to this person also.

  • The Employee "B' before starting the task saw Employee "C" struggling in the river to reach the other side of the bank. He realized "C" has the same task.
  • Now "B" not only crossed the river but also helped "C" to cross the river.
  • "B" reported back to the manager and the manager smiled and said "VERY GOOD JOB"

The following day Employee "Q" reported to the same manager and asked him the job for the day. The manager assigned the same task again.

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  • Employee "Q" before starting the work did some home work and realized "A", "B" & "C" all has done this task before. He met them and understood how they performed.
  • He realized that there is a need for a guide and training for doing this task.
  • He sat first and wrote down the procedure for crossing the river, he documented the common mistakes people made, and tricks to do the task efficiently and effortlessly.
  • Using the methodology he had written down he crossed the river and reported back to the manager along with documented procedure and training material.
  • The manger said "Q" you have done an "EXCELLENT JOB".

The following day Employee "O' reported to the manager and asked him the job for the day. The manager assigned the same task again.

"O" studied the procedure written down by "Q" and sat and thought about the whole task.
He realized company is spending lot of money in getting this task completed. He decided not to cross the river, but sat and designed and implemented a bridge across the river and went back to his manager and said, "You no longer need to assign this task to any one".
The manager smiled and said "Outstanding job 'O'. I am very proud of you."

What is the difference between A, B, Q & O????????
Many a times in life we get tasks to be done at home, at office, at play….,
Most of us end up doing what is expected out of us. Do we feel happy? Most probably yes. We would be often disappointed when the recognition is not meeting our expectation.

Let us compare ourselves with "B". Helping some one else the problem often improves our own skills. There is an old proverb (I do not know the author) "learn to teach and teach to learn". From a company point of view "B" has demonstrated much better skills than "A" since one more task for the company is completed.

"Q" created knowledge base for the team. More often than not, we do the task assigned to us without checking history. Learning from other's mistake is the best way to improve efficiency. This knowledge creation for the team is of immense help. Re-usability reduces cost there by increases productivity of the team. "Q" demonstrated good "team-player" skills,

Now to the outstanding person, "O" made the task irrelevant; he created a Permanent Asset to the team.
If you notice B, Q and O all have demonstrated "team performance" over an above individual performance; also they have demonstrated a very invaluable characteristic known as "INITIATIVE".

Initiative pays of every where whether at work or at personal life. If you put initiative you will succeed. Initiative is a continual process and it never ends. This is because this year's achievement is next year's task. You cannot use the same success story every year.
The story provides an instance of performance, where as measurement needs to be spread across at least 6-12 months. Consequently performance should be consistent and evenly spread.
Out-of-Box thinkers are always premium and that is what every one constantly looks out for. Initiative, Out-of-Box thinking and commitment are the stepping stone to success.
Initiative should be life long.

 Think of out of the box.

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Discreet Silence

Ravi and I work in the same office ,are close to each other sharing even our personal matters.. His rich dad had died some years back. His old mother was living with him. Unfortunately Ravi's wife Anita had not taken kindly to the old woman. Coming from a rich family herself, she was a much pampered lady lacking in finer sensibilities with a harsh tongue. So long as the old man was alive, things were going on without coming to surface. There were no children to lighten the atmosphere. Things became gradually worse till it became intolerable. Ravi on return from office saw his mother crying almost daily but never had any word of complaint against Anita. Knowing the latter's abrasive nature, he knew what must have happened. His words of advice had little effect. Ravi being timid in nature, she was domineering. It was about three years ago he discussed the matter with me and we decided that for the peace of the old lady, it was best to admit her in a well to do senior citizen's home which had all the facilities. When he broached the subject to his mom, she did not mind the verbal torture but desired to be with him. Ravi persuaded her saying that he could not bear to see the indignities heaped on her and that she better go to the home and that he would be meeting her frequently.

Ravi went initially often but this tapered off to monthly visits partly due to pressure in office and mostly due to the taunts of Anita. The change had affected the old lady mentally. She became morose and aloof. Calls would come from the home asking him to come and meet his mom. He went sometimes taking time off during office hours but this also became less. But he ensured that his mom got all the physical comforts. There was a phone call one day informing that the old lady slipped and fell down in the bath room. She had broken her back and was unfit for any surgery due to advanced age. Some complications had set in with her kidneys failing. Her eye sight had also diminished abruptly. She became weak and emaciated in the course of a month. Nursing attendants at the home took care of her 24x7.She was all the time muttering "Ravi, Ravi…" I had gone one day with Ravi. It was a pathetic sight seeing the old lady cringe" Ravi, please take me home from this prison and let me be with you in my last days. Please do not refuse. I would myself plead with Anita" Ravi's eyes became misty with tears trickling down. He said" Mom, Do not worry. Let me talk to her. I will come tomorrow." He tried in vain knowing fully there was no chance of Anita relenting. He did not have the face to meet his mom. He did not go. The tricky wife compelled him to take her on a holiday to Darjeeling despite the ailing lady. When he was away a call came from the hospital informing that the lady's condition had turned serious. I informed Ravi and rushed to her side.

I held the lady's arm. Her eyes were closed. There was a deathly pallor about her. She was too weak even to open her eyes. She said"Ravi, I am glad you have come. I want to breathe my last holding your hand. I have caused a lot of anguish for you."

I was perplexed about what I should do. The nurse who knew me indicated that I should not reveal my identity. She signaled that she was in her last moments.

I replied "Mom, do not strain yourself. You will be ok.Just rest and I am here by your side"

Ravi, were you not allright? You said you will come the next day when we met last"

 "Mom, I had to go out of India on tour suddenly. I could not refuse. I am here and will not leave you. Please sleep as I keep holding your hand"

 "I know you are very affectionate to me. " She kept quiet thereafter and peace descended on her face. I did not stir from the chair and stayed on by her side. I must have fallen asleep in that position till I was woken up by the nurse telling "Sir, it is all over. She passed away a few minutes back. It is very nice of you to have provided the love and warmth she was yearning for.

Thanks a lot for your discreet silence."

Wiping the tears from my eyes, I moved towards the phone booth to inform Ravi.

Contributed by: Natarajan Gurumurthy (gnatarajan53 @ gmail.com)

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  • Effective Communication

    Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.

    SCENE: The Oval Office. George Bush and Condolezza Rice.

    George: Condi! Nice to see you‚ What''s happening?

    Condi: Sir, I have the report about the new leader of China.

    George: Great. Let's hear it.

    Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

    George: That's what I want to know.

    Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

    George: That's what I''m asking you‚ Who is the new leader of China?

    Condi: Yes.

    George: I mean the fellow's name.

    Condi: Hu.

    George: The guy in China.

    Condi: Hu.

    George: The new leader of China.

    Condi: Hu

    George: The Chinese?

    Condi: Hu is leading China.

    George: Now whaddya asking me for?

    Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

    George: Well,I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

    Condi: That''s the man's name.

    George: That's whose name?

    Condi: Yes.

    George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

    Condi: Yes sir.

    George: Yassir? You mean arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

    Condi: That's correct.

    George: Then who is in China?

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: Yassir is in China?

    Condi: No, sir.

    George: Then who is?

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: Yassir?

    Condi: No, sir.

    George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. I bet he knows.

    Condi: Kofi?

    George: No, thanks.

    Condi: You want Kofi?

    George: No.

    Condi: You don't want Kofi.

    George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. and then get me the U.N.

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

    Condi: Kofi?

    George: No, milk! Will you please make the call?

    Condi: Call who?

    George: Who is the guy at the U.N .?

    Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

    George: Will you stay out of China?!

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: and stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N!

    Condi: Kofi?

    George: all right! Light with sugar. Now get on the phone.

     (Condi picks up the phone.)

    Condi: Rice here.

    George: Rice? Good idea. and a couple of egg rolls, too..

    Contributed by: C D Sahu (cdsahu @ kknpp.com)

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    Sam Walton's rules for success

    Sam Walton, the legendary founder of Wal-Mart, had 10 rules for running a successful business. They are simple and straightforward, but guess what? I would bet the farm that a great many businesses don't follow them—and they'd be better off if they did.

    Read these (my comments follow) and see how they might fit into your business plan. Take note that even in this tough economy, Wal-Mart is prospering.

    1.     Commit to your business. Believe in it more than anyone does. Passion is at the top of the list of the skills you need to excel. When you have passion, you speak with conviction, act with authority and present with zeal. If you don't have an intense, burning desire for what you are doing, there's no way you'll be able to work the long, hard hours it takes to become successful.

    2.     Share profits with your employees. If you treat them as partners, they will treat you as a partner, and together you will perform beyond your wildest dreams. Employees are the life-blood of any good company. Many companies seem to have fancy incentive programs for the big wheels, but smart companies have bonuses and profit-sharing all the way down the line. It was recently announced that this year, each Wal-Mart employee will receive a "bonus" check for more than $900!

    3.     Motivate your partners. Money and ownership are not enough. Set high goals, encourage competition and then keep score. Competition makes you better and stronger. You should not only welcome stiff competition, you should actively seek it. You'll never realize your full potential unless you're challenged. Similarly, if you don't set goals to determine where you're going, how will you know when you get there? You must stay focused on your goals above all else. Truly dedicated individuals won't let anything interfere with attaining their goals.

    4.     Communicate everything you possibly can to your employees. The more they know, the more they will understand. Information is power, but it must be used to empower your workforce. You will be amazed how a few snippets of information can transform a business into a powerhouse.

    5.     Appreciate everything your associates do for the business. In addition to point #2, find ways to let your employees know that you value their contributions. Invite your customers to share their stories of great service and post them for all to see. Catch people doing a good job and let them know you notice. It keeps everyone motivated and does wonders for retention. Remember that your successes result from a group effort.

    6.     Celebrate your successes. Find some humor in your failures. Don't take yourself so seriously. Maintain a positive tone, even when things don't go as planned. Although a failure may not be funny at the time, there's always a lesson to be learned. Often, the lesson learned is humility.

    7.     Listen to everyone in your company, and figure out ways to get them talking. Many people think that communication means getting others to do what you want them to do. For them, good listening means, "I talk, you listen." These people have forgotten the basic truth about being a good listener: Listening is a two-way process. Yes, you need to be heard. You also need to hear the other person's ideas, questions and objections. If you talk at people instead of with them, they're not buying in—they're caving in.

    8.     Exceed your customers' expectations. There's one thing no business has enough of: customers. Take care of the customers you have and they'll take care of you by coming back—and bringing their friends. On the flip side, disappoint customers, and they'll disappoint you—and then disappear.

    9.     Control your expenses better than your competition. Wal-Mart tries to help its customers follow this rule. If you aren't already watching pennies, start now.

    10.   Swim upstream. If everyone else is doing it one way, there is a good chance you can find your niche by going in the opposite direction. Following the crowd leaves you with very little room to maneuver.

    Mackay's Moral: If a business can survive and thrive in these times, they must be playing by some smart rules.

    Contributed by: Bharathi Natraj (bharathig @ hpcl.co.in)

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    A Little Burnt Toast

    "When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my mom, and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember Watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite!  When I got Up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad For burning the toast. And I'll never forget what he said: 'Baby, I love burned toast.'

    Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if He really liked his toast burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, 'Debbie,your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides-a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!' You know, life is full of imperfect things.....and imperfect people. I'm not the best housekeeper or cook.

    What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is the one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting  relationship again that may be a "close-friend relationship, husband-wife relationship or to that matter any relationship whatsoever" !!!!

    And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good,  the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of GOD. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where burnt toast isn't a deal-breaker! We could extend this to any relationship in fact - as understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!! "

    "Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket but into your own"

    Contributed by: Bharathi Natraj (bharathig @ hpcl.co.in)

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    In life, there are several distractions and always will be. It's up to us how we stay focused in our head and heart and follow our goals. Here are some tips to stay focused in life.

    Time Management

    ·         Firstly, accept the fact that you have only 24 hours and seven days a week.

    ·         Hence, time management is very important as that will help you in achieving the maximum in minimum time and effort.

    ·         Planning a week ahead on a Sunday is very useful. Write down the things to be done in a diary or a white board in order of priority.

    ·         As far as possible, stick to the priority wise objectives and tick them once they're done.

    ·         Initially, it may not be easy to stick to a plan, but you will gradually see your efficiency and productivity increasing and you will no longer run out of time.

    Goal Management

    ·         Set smaller, achievable goals. For instance, if you want to score a high percentage in your exams then your goals should be to study a few hours daily rather than finish studying an entire chapter. If you try and complete an entire subject, it may not only be difficult but it can leave you nervous and under-confident.

    ·         Rate your performance on a scale of 1 to 10, but be honest to yourself.

    ·         Compare your present performance with the past to check your progress.

    ·         Only if you are able to judge yourself honestly can you push yourself to do better.

    Personal Management

    ·         Meditation and yoga can help you to concentrate and stay focused.

    ·         Visualize success before dozing off to sleep and just when you wake up. Affirm success and ingrain it into your mind and body.

    ·         Seek advice and guidance from a trusted person such as a parent, a senior, a teacher or a counselor.

    ·         Accept the fact that there will always be distractions, there will be people doing better than you and may be 'luckier' than you. But you need not waste time on worrying; instead, use the time to better yourself.

    ·         Study tactics used by successful people, maybe it can give you a hint.

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    Fear! It's one of the biggest obstacles keeping us from living life to the fullest. Most of our fears are irrational and unnecessary, yet we find it difficult to let go of them.

    Here are 5 tips to help you overcome your fears and take control of your life.

    Step 1: Identify your fear

    Putting a name to your fear is the first and most essential step to overcoming it. Once you've identified your fear, it is easier to look at it like it's just another challenge that needs to be dealt with.

    Step 2: Analyze your fear

    Analyzing your fears will help you see just how irrational they are. List down reasons stating why it is unnecessary for you to be paralyzed by this fear. Then think of other people who aren't troubled by the fear at all, and ask yourself why is it that they aren't affected by this fear when you are.

    Step 3: Put your fears into perspective

    We tend to make mountains out of molehills when we're plagued with fear. It always helps to put matters into perspective and take an objective look at ourselves and our fears.

    Step 4: Practice systematic desensitization

    Many psychologists recommend this technique for overcoming fear. The idea is to get a little closer to the object of your fear each time you are around it. Get used to the way the fear makes you feel. Eventually, it will not have the capacity to create fearful emotions in you any more.

    Step 5: Don't obsess over fear

    Don't obsess over fearful or troubling thoughts. This can be challenging in itself, but is very necessary.

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    One of the world's top leadership experts and the author of 10 international bestsellers on leadership and personal success, Robin Sharma says in his blog: "In my work as a success coach with people around the world, I've realized that lasting personal change does not require you to turn your life upside down. The best way to get to your greatness is through small, continuous steps-what I call the "1% Wins". If you improve your health only 1% each day for the next 30 days, you will see a 30% increase in that dimension of your life in only 1 month."

    This should say it all. Whether it is losing weight, thinking positive, waking up early, making more money, working harder, having a happier home, a loving relationship, one step at a time is what it takes to reach the final goal. And though the goal may seem far away - 20 kgs to lose!, Even 50 gms a day would mean 0.5 kgs in 10 days, 1.5 kgs in a month, and 16 kgs in the year!

    When you want to achieve something, whatever it may be, you can do it if you start taking the steps and simply keep the goal in mind. Do not look at the number of steps, because the goal may just seem further away, and the steps too many. Instead if you make a kick start and keep going never losing vision of your goal, you will achieve what you want before you know it! Start today...
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    Aim Higher!

    Barkha Dutt is one of the top journalists the country has been witness to. In a field dominated by men, she made a mark for herself by reporting live from the bunkers of Kargil. Even today, she continues to cross frontiers and undertake assignments even her male counterparts would reconsider. And yet, she still thinks she's got a long way to go! What did she do so differently to have success embrace her with open arms? She controlled her own destiny by aiming high. Here are a few tips to help you aim higher as well:

    1. Break all perceived boundaries to lead

    Most people prefer to let the confines of their profession define the heights that they can achieve. The remaining few decide to make their own mark by defining these new heights and setting standards for their successors. The first question thus becomes, which of the two would you like to be - a leader or a successor?

    2. Do not get scared of roadblocks

    Where there is a will there is a way. And where there is a way, there is a roadblock. Your grit and determination will define whether or not you allow that roadblock to burn your fire out. A great way of looking at dilemmas is by seeing them as opportunities for growth. People who learn from their own mistakes often tend to learn valuable lessons for life.

    3. Obsess about your final goals

    Set your standards high and don't go easy on yourself once you've got your mind set on achieving something. Under no circumstances should you be willing to compromise. In the case where you do, you automatically lower the bar for yourself; consequently becoming more lax and maybe even losing sight of your goal.

    4. Set goals in tune with your potential

    Often, we tend to make the mistake of modeling our goals based on someone else's achievements. Everybody functions differently; what may be easy and achievable for someone may be a tough task for you. Set your goals accordingly.

    5. Always push yourself

    Push yourself to achieve Just a little more. Most athletes apply this rule to their practice sessions; when they sense final fatigue where they feel as though they'd collapse if they didn't stop, they press on for a few strides more in order to gauge how much more they can push their bodies. This rule is a classic and works fabulously in most professions and tasks that make rigorous demands on the mind and body.

    Keep in mind that you chalk and steer your own course, for it is the decisions that you make now that will decide whether you fly high or fall low in the future. So go on, control your own destiny. Make success yours!
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    Very often a lot of our successes and failures are governed by our primary approach to things. When we choose to accept situations and challenges with a mindset to fight them out rather than give up before we begin, we increase our chances of a win. Here is how saying 'yes' positively affects not only your mental make-up, but also those of the others around you, thus, helping you win battles and attract success:

    1. It changes your perspective

    When you say 'yes', you automatically change your perspective. You flip over from the negative or the undecided to the positive, seeing new possibilities.

    2. It allows you to learn something new

    A 'yes' is the first step of learning. Only if you agree to go through a new process or a new route will you give yourself the opportunity to learn something new. Who knows, you may even discover things that you really enjoy doing or paths that you may love to explore further.

    3. You win the admiration of others

    When you adopt the 'yes' attitude, it doesn't just pertain to the case at hand. Your outlook towards life becomes much more positive and the more you implement it, the more it becomes inherent in you. This clearly does not go unnoticed and hence makes you popular amongst not only those directly associated with you but even amongst those who are superficially connected with you.

    4. It has no negatives

    The 'yes' attitude aids in only gains and makes you lose nothing at all. It may involve taking risks and exploring the unexplored but more often than not, you have nothing to lose.

    5. It puts you through a self-test

    The reason a 'yes' attitude is the first step of success is because it allows you to test yourself and your capabilities. Agreeing to do something you haven't tried before or something that does not come easily to you lets you gauge your strengths and weaknesses, helping you discover more about yourself.

    So go ahead and say 'YES' to challenges. Say 'YES' to success.


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    The Loving Husband

    Several men are in  the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.

    Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

    MAN: "Hello"?

    WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"

    MAN: "Yes"

    WOMAN: "I am at the shopping  centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only  $ 1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

    MAN:  "Sure,..go ahead if you like it that much."

    WOMAN: "I also stopped by  the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2009 models. I saw one I really  liked."

    MAN: "How much?"

    WOMAN: " $ 70,000"

    MAN: "OK, but for that price I  want it with all the options."

    WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ...  The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking  $ 950,000"

    MAN: "Well, then go ahead and  give them an offer of 900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go  the extra 50 thousand. It really is a pretty good price."

    WOMAN: "OK.  I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"

    MAN: "Bye! I love you,  too."

    The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring  at him in astonishment, mouths agape..... He smiles and asks:

    "Anyone knows who this phone belongs to?"

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    The Honest Lawyer

    An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. The investment banker began to interview young lawyers.

     "As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Mayberry, are you an honest lawyer?"

     "Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."

     "Impressive. And what sort of case was that?" asked the investment counselor.

    The lawyer squirmed in his seat and said, "My father sued me for the money."

    Contributed by: Bhagyalakshmi Sundaran (bsundaran @ yahoo.com)

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    Squeezing Every Last Drop

    The local bar was so sure its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.

    Many people had tried over time, including the professional wrestlers and bodybuilders, but nobody could do it. One day a scrawny little man came in, wearing a tie and a pair of pants hiked up past his belly button.

    He said in a squeaky annoying voice, "I'd like to try the bet."

    Even the hillbilly chicks burst into laughter.

    After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "Ok," grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. He then handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.

    But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.  As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man, "What did you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, weight lifter, or what?"

    The man replied, "I work for the IRS.".

    Contributed by: Bhagyalakshmi Sundaran (bsundaran @ yahoo.com)

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  • Timely Logic Saves the Day

    Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please?

    Old Man: Certainly not.

    Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to lose, if you tell me the time?

    Old Man: Yes, I may lose something if I tell you the time.

    Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?

    Old Man: See, if I tell you the time you will definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will ask me the time.

    Young Man: Quite possible.

    Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you will ask my name and address.

    Young Man: Quite possible.

    Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you were just passing by and came into wish me.

    Then as a courtsey, I will offer you a cup of tea.

    After my courteous approach you will try to come again.This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made it.?

    Young Man: Possible

    Old Man: Then I will tell you that my daughter has and I will then have to introduce my young and pretty daughter to you and you will admire my daughter.

    Young Man: Smiles.

    Old Man: Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter again and again. You will offer her to go out for a movie together and a date with you.

    Young Man: Smiles

    Old Man: My daughter may start liking you and start waiting for you. After meeting regularly you will fall in love with her and propose her for marriage.

    Young Man: Smiles

    Old Man: One day both of you will come to me and tell me about your love and ask for my permission.

    Young Man: Oh Yes! and smiles

    Old Man: (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my daughter to a person like you who does not even own a watch!

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    The Therapeutic Back Rub

    Is your partner often worn out or stressed, after coming from work? Know for sure, it is the time to give him/her a nice back massage. Giving a good massage provides therapeutic relief to a person, boosting the energy levels and relaxing the parched nerves. Apart from relieving a person from pain, anxiety and stress, massage also tones up the body and increases physical intimacy. The other benefits of body massage include increased body awareness, emotional comfort, enhanced circulation and improved lymphatic drainage for release of toxins.

    Giving A Good Back Massage

    Warm-up Session

    * The first step would be to arrange the set up or the place where the massage would be given. Arrange a soft, comfortable bed or futon and instruct the person to lie down on his/her stomach. Make sure that there is enough room for you to move around the body.

    * Now, start the warm up session. Using the tips of your fingers, gently massage the back, in slow circular motions, moving up and down the side of the spine. Concentrate on the left and right of the spine and on the sides as well.

    * Once the spinal area is done, you need to move up, towards the shoulders. Apply some pressure in slow circles, over the shoulder blades and up towards the neck.


    After the muscles have loosened and become warm, you can start with the massage.

    * First, you need to first choose the massage oil or lotion. There are umpteen varieties available in the market. Get the one that releases a pleasant fragrance and is light in texture.

    * Now, pour some oil on the back of the person. Remember, you need enough oil to ensure that your hands smoothly glide over the back. Do not overdo, as excess oil would prove hard to remove, later on.

    * Start from the lower back in slow strokes, applying medium pressure, and move upwards. Continue this until you reach the top of the shoulders. It would help the person relax even more.

    * Now, massage in the specific regions. Slowly and steadily, press the knots and the tight spots.

    * Frequently, get the feedback from the person. Ask him/her, if he is feeling better and relaxed. If anything is hurting the person, make sure he/she lets you know.

    Warm-down Session

    * Once the massage is done, get to the warm-down session. Essentially. it is just the opposite of the warm up session.

    * In it, you basically reduce pressure, until you are doing nothing other than rubbing the back.

    Types Of Massage Strokes

    The Fan Stroke

    In this, you put the palms on the mid-back, with the fingers away from the spine. Apply pressure on the sides of the spine, rather than directly pressing on it. Proceed upwards, until you reach the shoulder blades and neck and then move back to the ribs.

    The Circling Hands

    In this type of massage stroke, the hands lay flat on the back, with the fingers moving in clockwise motion on the lower back. As you move up the back, move the hands and fingers in anticlockwise motion. Make sure that the hands are directed at the sides, away from the spine. Remember, the right hand is used to massage the left side and the left hand is used to massage the right side.


    Petrissage is the motion of the hands and fingers in a way that would press the flesh and muscle. Using one hand, hold a muscle group and tightly press it. When one of the portions is done, move to the next muscle group. Repeat the process, until you have covered all areas of the back, from low to high and left to right. Now, alter the hand and repeat the process.


    In this technique, the hands rest on the shoulder, with the fingers wide apart. The hands are moved down the back, 'raking' the flesh. After this, one hand moves upwards and the other downwards, simultaneously. Repeat the process, altering the direction of hands.

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  • Home Remedy For Acne and Injury Scars

    Well it is said that the remedy that stands above the rest is Vitamin E.

    Application of vitamin E oil or capsule to the scarwill completely vanish the scar in few weeks.
    This is one of the useful scars cure.

    On wounds, it helps them heal without scarring (avoid the apparition of scars), a little vitamin E dabbed on the skin can remove stretch marks, clear up scars and even heal wounds.

    BUT they also that , make sure your body does not react to Vitamin E, if it is then here are the other home remedies , you can go for :


    Applying honey:

    Said to be the most effective home remedy for scars if applied several times a day.
    It will give a natural glow to the skin and will remove all scars


    Olive oil:

    Application of olive oil is also beneficial in getting rid of any kind of scars.


    Aloe Vera:

    The Aloe Vera gel prevents the formation of permanent scars.


    Sandalwood paste with rose water:

    This is said to be the best method of scars treatment .
    Apply paste overnight and wash the face next morning.


    Limejuice + rosewater:

    Make a paste by mixing one-tablespoon fuller's earth, one-teaspoon limejuice and rosewater.
    Apply this paste all over the face, massaging it gently.
    Leave it to dry and then apply again on the scars. Leave it for 5-10 minutes, then wash with cold water.



    Whatever is the remedy you will go for, please remember to use a sunscreen before going to the sun.

    The following remedies will work only for acne scars, for injuries please refer to above.



    If your acne scars are dark, you can use lemon juice to lighten them.
    First, cleanse the scar with water.
    Dab one teaspoon of lemon juice into a cotton ball and smooth it over the acne marks.
    Leave for ten minutes, then rinse.
    Use caution with lemon juice because it can make your skin photosensitive.


    Sandalwood + Black gram:

    Large pores on facial skin can be treatred with paste of sandalwood (chandan) powder with black gram (masoor) dal.
    Keep it overnight and wash it with cold water the next day.



    Most of the women spend a fortune on beauty. We try just about anything to make us more beautiful. But these beauty products are either expensive or not effective. When we are tired of all the over-the-counter beauty products that promises us an instant effect which by the way didn't happen most of the time, here are some of the easy, no-fuss solutions to some of the beauty problems that you may have:

    Hair & Scalp

    * Dandruff " Use tomato juice
    in your hair, it soothes dry, itchy scalp by removing the scales and replaces its pH balance.

    *Dry Hair  Mayonnaise works well as a deep conditioning treatment mask. Mayonnaise
    has egg yolks that supply the hair with protein, vinegar that normalizes the pH balance of your hair, and vegetable oils that lubricate hair follicles.

    *Dull Hair  Pure fruit juices bring back life and color into your hair. Pure lemon
    juice brings out the shine and enhances the highlights in all hair types. Cranberry juice brings out the highlights in dark brown hair.


    * Dark under eye circles / eye puffiness  Apply ice cubes
    , cold water, tea, wet tea bags, milk or slices of either cucumber or potatoes over your eyes. Let it stay for about 10 minutes to allow the delicate tissues under your eyes to tighten and shrink to normal.

    * Tired eyes Saturate a huge piece of cotton with cold milk, place it over your eyes and relax for 15 minutes. Rinse afterwards. Or you can use an ice cube, composes of water and chamomile tea. To make this, fill an ice tray w/ water halfway then pour up chamomile tea to make up the other half. Freeze. Then just rub around your eyes when your eyes feel tired.

    Face & Skin

    * Wrinkles and lines Smooth wrinkles and lines on your forehead by applying cooking oil or olive oil
    on them. Oil contains fatty acids similar to the composition of the skin fat and therefore complements the skin.

    * Low surface blackheads exfoliate using cornmeal, oatmeal or sea salt.

    * Deep-seated blackheads Put on a facial mask that is made up of some mixture of 2 tbsp cornmeal, 2 tbsp sesame oil and 5 tbsp of plain yogurt
    . Apply this on your face for seven consecutive days.

    * Dry facial skin Make a cornmeal scrub by mixing two teaspoons of cornmeal with just enough honey to make a paste. Using your fingertips, apply the concoction on your face with circular motion. Rinse thoroughly with lukewarm water. This will lift up dead skin cells and give way to new, fresh, and rosy skin.

    * Flaky skin Just rub either avocado or lemon on affected areas and let it stay for 15 minutes. You can also use egg yolk for this purpose.

    Hey hey hey if you think you have no time for these things and you have some extra money for your improvements, there are a lot of products in the market which you can easily buy, but always remember there's no better way to do it other than to go natural.

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    Cut the tomato in half and rub on the skin. Leave on for fifteen minutes.
    Wash it off with water. This will reduce open pores and blackheads. This treatment is good particularly for oily skin.


    To tighten your pores:

    Use ice or cucumber juice
    Leave one or the other for 15 minutes
    Wash off your face.


    Do not be lazy and go for any of them, first try the Vitamin E, if your skin reacts to it then try Olive oil, or honey... the rest come after the failure of the previous remedy

    This is a list of remedy you can easily find and they are also natural.

    Contributed by: Bhagyalakshmi Sundaran (bsundaran @ yahoo.com)

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