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Dealing wih Female Staff


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Once Upon a Time..

Once upon a time leadership mattered, now dealership rules the world.

Once upon a time quality was craftsman's pride, now it is a departmental mess.

Once upon a time mouse was an untouchable mammal, now it is handheld pest.

Once upon a time wisdom was cultivated by wise people, now it is flashed on T-shirts.

Once upon a time teacher tought and students learnt, now teacher trade and students consume.

Once upon a time population was a problem, now it is a flourishing mass market.

Once upon a time competition brought out the best, now it brings out the worst in people.

Once upon a time there was a golden rule, now if you have gold, you rule.

Once upon a time truth telling was good for your soul, now it is bad for promotion.

Once upon a time success meant living by ideals, now it is about using above all principles.

Once upon a time beauty was in the eye of the beholder, now it is booming business.

Once upon a time the government was clean and s#x was dirty, now one doesn't know.

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Sister Mathematical & Sister Logical

There were two nuns...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM:Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL:It's logical. He wants to r#pe us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?

SL:The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM:It's not working.

SL:Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL:The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM:Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM:Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.

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I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we live, to harmonize the processes of life and to build upon past differences and short comings. I believe that we the people need someone to share our lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and bear the social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized society................. (etc etc and never getting to the point)

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SHARABI

Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a drinks factory. I am an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when friends come round. Friends come round only seven times a week. Girl preferred who can carry me from bar to ghar-bar. Meet personally in a bar or send drinks for trial. Sample should be ample.

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BEGGAR

Allah kay naam peh koi eik biwi dey dey, Doosrey kee nahi to upni hee dey dey, Allah terah bullah kurrey, Tujhey eik key balley doh dey dey, Hillery hogi toh Monika bhi dey dey!

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ARMY COMMANDO

My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife. Successful applicants must be able to use a penknife and a compass. She who dares wins. Camouflage provided.

RACE CAR DRIVER

A model wife required to fit in with my fast track life. Must be able to keep pace!

ASTRONAUT

I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life. Someone to share my universe. Must have looks that are out of this world!

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Pretense

A man and a woman, who had never met before, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two were tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 2:00 AM, he leaned over and gently wakes the woman, saying, ?? "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be kind enough to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, why don't we pretend that we're married."

"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he is excited.

"Good," she replies. "Get up and get your own damn blanket."

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The Power Within

Believe in yourself and in your dream

though impossible things may seem,

Someday, somehow you'll get through to

the goal you have in view.

 

Mountains fall and seas divide before

the one who in his stride.

Takes a hard road day by day

sweeping obstacles away.

 

Believe in yourself and in your plan.

Say not - I cannot but, I can.

The prizes of life we fail to win,

because we doubt the power within!

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