The travails of L.I.F.E
There were once 2 brothers who lived on the 80th floor of a tall building. On coming home one day, they realized to their dismay that the lifts were not working and that they have to climb the stairs home. After struggling to the 20th level, panting and tired, they decided to abandon their bags and come back for them the next day. They left their bags then and climbed on.
When they have struggled to the 40th level by this time they had gone sufficiently mad and irritated. The younger brother started to grumble and both of them began to quarrel. They continued to climb the flights of steps, quarreling all the way to the 60th floor.
They then realized that they have only 20 levels more to climb and decided to stop quarreling and continue climbing in peace. They silently climbed on and reached their home at long last. Each stood calmly before the door and waited for the! other to open the door. And they realized that the key was in their bags which were left on the 20th floor.
THIS STORY IS A REFLECTION ON OUR LIFE AND TIMES .
All of us climb the tall building called LIFE. Some climb till all the 80 floors and some less. Many of us climb under the expectations of our companion.
Time to time these are our friends and parents till the 20th floor, then our spouse and our dear ones till the next level of the building. We seldom get to do the things that we really like and love and are under so much pressure and stress so that by the age of 20, we get tired and decided to dump this load. Being free of the stress and pressure, we work enthusiastically and dream ambitious wishes.
By the time we reach 40 years old, we start to lose our vision and dreams. We began to feel unsatisfied and start to complain and criticize. We live life as a misery as we are never satisfied.
Reaching 60, we realize that we have little left for complaining anymore, and we began to walk the final episode in peace and calmness. We think that there is nothing left to disappoint us, only to realize that we could not rest in peace because we have an unfulfilled dream.
A dream we abandoned 60 years ago. So what's your dream?
Know your dreams and follow it so that you will not live with regrets.
* ACCEPT YOURSELF
* BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
* LIKE YOURSELF
Inside each one of us are powers so strong, treasures so rich, possibilities so endless, that to command them all into action would change the history of the world.
Things aren't always what they seem to be
Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a space in the cold basement.
As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied... "Things aren't always what they seem".
The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife.
After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.
The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel "how could you have let this happen!? The first man had everything, yet you helped him," she accused. "The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let their cow die."
"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it. Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave her the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."
Sometimes this is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You might not know it until some time later.
The 12 Competencies of a Trainer
Ü Assessing Needs and Entering Behavior
Ü Analyzing Participants and Situations
Ü Applying Classroom Facilitation Skills
Ü Maintaining Adult Relationships
Ü Building toward Transfer Training
Ü Managing Classroom Time Effectively
Ü Setting Objectives and Terminal Behavior
Ü Eliciting Relevant Responses and Testing
Ü Forming Questions and Probes Effectively
Ü Giving Feedback and Reinforcement
Ü Getting All Learners to Participate
Ü Displaying Good Flow, Logic, and Organization
5 Ways to Combat Stress
Stress is a disease that can be partially cured. Here are a few thoughts that may help you live more in peace with yourself.
1. They say that 'primordial stress' is related to our unspoken fear of dying, of the end of life. But is it really dying that we are afraid of? No, because we don't know what dying really is. With the end of our existence also comes the end of consciousness and sensation, and so how can we know anything of dying?
2. Stress is generated by a fear of not being perfect. So, you believe you are perfect, do
you? Well, you should know that you have never been perfect, because your lack of modesty allowed you to think that you were. And there can be no perfection where there is a lack!
3. Stress comes from being afraid that you can't get everything done on time. Time, like space, is an extendable dimension. It is one of those rare commodities that can be bestowed almost without limit. Remember that nothing grand or beautiful was ever accomplished in a day.
4. Stress comes from fearing that you do not correspond to the self image you want to project. The eye does not see the object itself, but the image of the object. You too are just a reflection in other people's eyes. They will never see you as you really are, no matter how hard they try. So why worry?
5. Stress arises when you don't know how to say no. You do know how to say no. Do you need proof? Well, the fact that you are alive and reading these lines means that you have succeeded in saying no many times, both with your body and with your mind. That's because living means refusing to die, day after day.
You can start lowering your stress level starting today. All you have to do is choose your priorities!
"Anxiety is the vertigo of liberty." - S. Kierkegaard
If you have faith in all the three hundred and thirty millions of your mythological gods and still have no faith in yourselves, there is no salvation for you. Have faith in yourselves, and stand up on that faith and be strong; that is what we need.
- Swami Vivekananda
No Matter Where You Are At In Your Life, YOU CAN
By Piercarla Garusi
I was reading through some statistics regarding depression and the percentage of people suffering from this has increased substantially. And I remembered what I often hear from people: "I have failed in my life," or "I have not achieved anything," or "I experienced such and such in my past and it will jeopardize my entire life," or "I have made a lot of mistakes," or "I have been feeling depressed or anxious for so many years and I can't change."
Do you think if we have such thoughts we are going to feel good? Well, no. We actually make ourselves depressed.
Now, the truth is that no matter where you are at in your life right now, no matter what your past has been, no matter what your present circumstances are, no matter how you have been feeling for years, no matter the mistakes you have made, you can change your future. That is for sure. The thing is that sometimes we don't know what can help us to change, so here are some ideas...
The first thing to do is to take total and full responsibility. You are the only person responsible for your actions, for your behaviors, for your thoughts, for your emotions, for your health, wealth, happiness, inner peace, etc., for your life. You might have heard about the great movie 'The Secret' and how it shows how much power you really have. Your thoughts create. It is the Law of Attraction. Everything that has happened in your life, everything that is happening, you create. For some people it might be a little uncomfortable to take this on board, but it is the truth. Blaming or complaining is simply giving your power away. But this also means that you can change anything you want in your life by a simple shift in your awareness. Every bit is really down to you.
Now, let us consider things in order. If you have experienced a difficult past, time line therapy is very helpful. Whatever you have experienced in the past, time line therapy does not go back into the past and analyze it; that would keep you there. Instead it gives you the power to feel free from your past and empowered to create your future. It enables you to relive it with more empowering resources and change the memory of it.
If you feel, for example, depressed or anxious, NLP and hypnosis are incredibly powerful tools to enable you to take control of your emotional state. All emotions generate from thoughts, beliefs, the meaning we give to events, self-talk, and you are the master of your own mind. But the thing is that nobody has given us a manual of how the brain works, so when we do not feel good we do not know what to do. If we buy a PC we are given a manual, and your brain is an extraordinary computer! Once you know how the conscious and subconscious mind works, you can take control of your emotional state, and so choose how to feel.
Now, another thing to point out is that if we do the same things, we get the same results. So, sometimes we feel stuck in our life or our habits, but if we want to change we need to change what we do and think. So, if you are doing something that makes you feel bad or does not work, stop, right now, and do something different, and you will get different results.
Guilt is a very powerful and damaging emotion, and what I have often found with clients is that we have a strong tendency to beat ourselves up harshly. Now, everybody makes mistakes, and what we need to do is recognize them, take full responsibility, learn from them and grow. One aspect of this is taking full responsibility for our behavior; a very different thing to feeling guilty about it. The way we treat ourselves has a very strong impact on our emotional state. And if I were to ask you: "Would you treat another person as harshly as you treat yourself?" I am sure your answer would be no. So, please treat yourself with the same compassion as you would your best friend. Now, do you think God would want you to beat yourself up? No, no, no. Please be kind to yourself. God loves you unconditionally: forgive and love yourself. Strive for excellence, not perfection. And always remember you always do the best you can at all times with the resources you have got.
Now, one of the reasons why we do not achieve what we want in life is because we do not know what we want. Many people live a life by default, they react to what happens, but are they going to make themselves happy? Maybe, maybe not. How about if you could work more smartly? If you could know what makes you happy and create it in your life? So, establish a vision of the life that you really want, establish goals toward that vision, and actions to take. And if you know what you want and you focus on it, and expect it to happen, the Law of Attraction says it will manifest, without exception.
So, what are you going to do today to become the person you want to be and create the life you want to live?
EIGHT LIES OF MOTHER
1.The story began when I was a child; I was born as a son of a poor family. Even for eating, we often got lack of food. Whenever the time for eating, mother often gave me her portion of rice. While she was removing her rice into my bowl, she would say "Eat this rice, son. I'm not hungry". That was Mother's First Lie
2.When I was getting to grow up, the persevering mother gave her spare time for fishing in a river near our house, she hoped that from the fishes she got, she could gave me a little bit nutritious food for my growth. After fishing, she would cook the fishes to be a fresh fish soup, which raised my appetite. While I was eating the soup, mother would sit beside me and eat the rest meat of fish, which was still on the bone of the fish I ate. My heart was touched when I saw it. I then used my chopstick and gave the other fish to her. But she immediately refused it and said "Eat this fish, son. I don't really like fish." That was Mother's Second Lie.
3.Then, when I was in Junior High School, to fund my study, mother went to an economic enterprise to bring some used-matches boxes that would be stuck in. It gave her some money for covering our needs. As the winter came, I woke up from my sleep and looked at my mother who was still awoke, supported by a little candlelight and within her perseverance she continued the work of sticking some used-matches box. I said, "Mother, go to sleep, it's late, tomorrow morning you still have to go for work." Mother smiled and said "Go to sleep, dear. I'm not tired." That was Mother's Third Lie.
4.At the time of final term, mother asked for a leave from her work in order to accompany me. While the daytime was coming and the heat of the sun was starting to shine, the strong and persevering mother waited for me under the heat of the sun's shine for several hours. As the bell rang, which indicated that the final exam had finished, mother immediately welcomed me and poured me a glass of tea that she had prepared before in a cold bottle. The very thick tea was not as thick as my mother's love, which was much thicker. Seeing my mother covering with perspiration, I at once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too. Mother said "Drink, son. I'm not thirsty!". That was Mother's Fourth Lie.
5.After the death of my father because of illness, my poor mother had to play her role as a single parent. By held on her former job, she had to fund our needs alone. Our family's life was more complicated. No days without sufferance. Seeing our family's condition that was getting worse, there was a nice uncle who lived near my house came to help us, either in a big problem and a small problem.
Our other neighbors who lived next to us saw that our family's life was so unfortunate, they often advised my mother to marry again. But mother, who was stubborn, didn't care to their advice, she said "I don't need love." That was Mother's Fifth Lie.
6.After I had finished my study and then got a job, it was the time for my old mother to retire. But she didn't want to; she was sincere to go to the marketplace every morning, just to sell some vegetable for fulfilling her needs. I, who worked in the other city, often sent her some money to help her in fulfilling her needs, but she was stubborn for not accepting the money. She even sent the money back to me. She said "I have enough money." That was Mother's Sixth Lie.
7.After graduated from Bachelor Degree, I then continued my study to Master Degree. I took the degree, which was funded by a company through a scholarship program, from a famous University in America. I finally worked in the company. Within a quite high salary, I intended to take my mother to enjoy her life in America. But my lovely mother didn't want to bother her son, she said to me "I'm not used to."
That was Mother's Seventh Lie.
8.After entering her old age, mother got a flank cancer and had to be hospitalized. I, who lived in miles away and across the ocean, directly went home to visit my dearest mother. She lied down in weakness on her bed after having an operation. Mother, who looked so old, was staring at me in deep yearn. She tried to spread her smile on her face; even it looked so stiff because of the disease she held out. It was clear enough to see how the disease broke my mother's body, thus she looked so weak and thin. I stared at my mother within tears flowing on my face. My heart was hurt, so hurt, seeing my mother on that condition. But mother, with her strength, said "Don't cry, my dear. I'm not in pain." That was Mother's Eight Lie.
After saying her eighth lie, my dearest mother closed her eyes forever!
Top 6 Secrets to Mastering Communication
Communicating with others is an essential skill in business dealings, family affairs, and romantic relationships, and is an essential part of any personal development effort. Do you often find yourself misunderstanding others? Do you have difficulty getting your point across clearly? When it comes to communication, what you say and what you don't say are equally important. Being a good listener is quite crucial.
In my quest to become a better communicator, I came across a few things I will have to overcome before I succeed:
Listen more carefully and responsively. Listen first and acknowledge what you hear, even if you don't agree with it, before expressing your experience or point of view. In order to get more of your conversation partner's attention in tense situations, pay attention first: listen and give a brief restatement of what you have heard (especially feelings) before you express your own needs or position. The kind of listening recommended here separates acknowledging from approving or agreeing.
Explain your conversational intent and invite consent. In order to help your conversation partner cooperate with you and to reduce possible misunderstandings, start important conversations by inviting your conversation partner to join you in the specific kind of conversation you want to have. The more the conversation is going to mean to you, the more important it is for your conversation partner to understand the big picture. Many successful communicators begin special conversations with a preface that goes something like: "I would like to talk with you for a few minutes about [subject matter]. When would be a good time?" The exercise for this step will encourage you to expand your list of possible conversations and to practice starting a wide variety of them.
Express yourself more clearly and completely. Slow down and give your listeners more information about what you are experiencing by using a wide range of "I-statements." One way to help get more of your listener's empathy is to express more of the five basic dimensions of your experience: Here is an example using one of the five main "I-messages" identified by various researchers over the past half century: What are you seeing, hearing or otherwise sensing?/ "When I saw the dishes in the sink..."
Translate your (and other people's) complaints and criticisms into specific requests, and explain your requests. In order to get more cooperation from others, whenever possible ask for what you want by using specific, action-oriented, positive language rather than by using generalizations, "why's" ,"don'ts" or "somebody should's." Help your listeners comply by explaining your requests with a "so that...", "it would help me to... if you would..." or "in order to..." Also, when you are receiving criticism and complaints from others, translate and restate the complaints as action requests. ....").
Ask questions more "openendedly" and more creatively. "Openendedly...":
In order to coordinate our life and work with the lives and work of other people, we all need to know more of what other people are feeling and thinking, wanting and planning. But our usual "yes/no" questions actually tend to shut people up rather than opening them up. In order to encourage your conversation partners to share more of their thoughts and feelings, ask "open-ended" rather than "yes/no" questions. Open-ended questions allow for a wide range of responses. For example, asking "How did you like that food/movie /speech/doctor/etc.?" will evoke a more detailed response than "Did you like it?" (which could be answered with a simple "yes" or "no"). In the first part of Challenge Five we explore asking a wide range of open-ended questions.
Express more appreciation.
To build more satisfying relationships with the people around you, express more appreciation, delight, affirmation, encouragement and gratitude. Because life continually requires us to attend to problems and breakdowns, it gets very easy to see in life only what is broken and needs fixing. But satisfying relationships (and a happy life) require us to notice and respond to what is delightful, excellent, enjoyable, to work well done, to food well cooked, etc. It is appreciation that makes a relationship strong enough to accommodate differences and disagreements. Thinkers and researchers in several different fields have reached similar conclusions about this: healthy relationships need a core of mutual appreciation.
Benefits of yoga for hypertension
Yoga can be a better alternative for psychosomatic disease like Hypertension. Simple life style management and Yoga can be a boon for Hypertensive patients.
Please consult with your doctor if you have HTN. You should never use Yoga as the sole treatment for hypertension without the supervision of your doctor. This can be fatal.
Hypertension is a challenge to the medical profession. It is one of the most common cardio-vascular disease processes.
Yoga & Therapy? Yoga is an ancient system of self-development, which offers a holistic approach to man through its ideology & techniques. In the modern age of advanced technology, people have lost their ability to recognize sickness at its subtle level. We are so busy with our hectic timetable that we only take notice of our health when serious symptom occurs. Even then, we just look for the appropriate fast method of cure so that we can still make it to our business and social engagements until the inevitable breakdown occurs. Then also we relate only to that specific organ or limb which has been affected rather than to our total health. We should learn to recognize our problems at the emotional level itself before they translate into physical disease. In this way, we can save ourselves from a lot of suffering and depression.
We should try to understand more about why we lose our mental balance before it is too late and develops into serious psychological illness. Unfortunately our sensitivity has become so dull that we take notice of the disorder only when our normal function gets affected seriously. Consequently, we fail to get to the root cause of our problems. Here Yoga can be useful if practiced sincerely, regularly and under the guidance of a qualified teacher.
Yoga makes us realize that disease affecting any specific part of our body is not really a disease confined only to that part but in fact, it is a manifestation of some disharmony in the body-mind complex of the whole personality. It is now realized that modern medical science influences the health of the people comparatively to a lesser extent than the other factors like hereditary, environment, diet, activities, rest and relaxation, etc. Yoga has much to contribute in these aspects. Recent research has shown that mind plays a more vital role in ensuring total health. Yoga is an effective way of dealing with mind, which in turn helps in dealing with any psychosomatic diseases/disorders like Hypertension. This is the reason why all, including the medical fraternity, are now turning to Yoga with great expectations.
Consistently elevated Blood Pressure is called Hypertension.
Systolic BP gets elevated due to various reasons like exercise, strenuous actions and emotions like anger, fear & anxiety. Diastolic BP is most significant as it is related to relaxation of the heart and reflects baseline pressure level in arterial network.
Emotional disturbance, physical and mental activity can alter the BP level. With the changes in physical and mental activity, requirements of blood in different parts of the body also change. To fulfill these extra requirements, the heart has to pump blood with increased pressure.
Blood Pressure depends on activity of the person. It varies in the same person on the same day at different times. It changes even while a person is sitting or standing. Immediately on standing, walking or running, BP varies. Hypertension is also dependent on the mental makeup of a person. Different people respond to similar situations differently.
There are two types of Hypertension: 1) Primary or Essential & 2) Secondary.
In primary Hypertension although the patient has high Blood Pressure, he does not experience any specific symptoms. Causes of around 90% of this type of Hypertension remain unknown to modern medical science. However, if not detected and controlled in an early stage, Hypertension can cause arterial cardiac & renal damage and reduce life expectancy by years or decades.
Normally, following are the causes attributed to primary Hypertension:
- Stress & Strain
- Emotional Disturbance
- Geographical location and climatic condition of place of stay
- "A" type personalities - over ambitious - over burdened, worrying and hyper-reactive
- Faulty way of living - no exercise, using stimulants, improper diet, high fly life style.
Secondary Hypertension is a type of Hypertension which occurs as secondary to some of the following recognizable physical causes:
- Infection/ damage to kidney
- Malfunctioning of endocrine glands
- Narrowing of Aorta or large arteries
- Hardening of arteries /roughening of its inner lining or thickening of arterial walls (Arteriosclerosis)
- Loss of elasticity of arteries/veins or clotting of blood or accumulation of fat resulting in closure of those arteries causing damage of blood organs to which they supply blood
- Blocks in blood vessels at the time of birth. To overcome these blocks more pressure has to be generated
- Blocks in vessels can be developed in later stage of life. This can mainly happen through TB
- Malfunctioning of Pituitary gland in the brain
- Overwork or underwork of Thyroid gland in throat
- Blockages in Kidney vessels
- Adrenal gland secrets excess hormone
Hypertension - A Silent Killer:
Usually Hypertension is asymptomatic i.e. without noticeable symptom. Hence, Hypertension generally goes unnoticed in pre and labile stages and one may come to know only when it sets in the fixed stage. This is the reason, why hypertension is known as a silent killer and a disease in disguise.
Symptoms in Fixed Stage of Hypertension:
- Mild & pounding headache
- Ringing in Ears
- Giddiness, easy fatigability
- Hazy Vision
- Disturbed kidney functioning
Continued uncontrolled elevated blood pressure for long periods is harmful and ultimately may prove disastrous as it seriously damages important organs like the brain and heart. Some of the serious implications of neglecting Hypertension for long are:
- Heart Attack
- Heart Failure
- Impaired Vision
- Kidney Failure
Concept of Yogic Therapy:
Yoga is a science and its practice harmonizes the body and mind. Yoga is immensely useful for promoting total health. It also works effectively as a therapy in three ways preventive, curative, rehabilitative. The yoga therapy has proved its excellence in psychological disorders like Hypertension.
Researchers have established the efficacy of yogic practices in preventing and even treating psychosomatic disorders/diseases, this has now drawn the attention of many to yogic therapy, all over the world. Now Yoga is no longer only an alternative therapy. World health Organization (WHO), the highest body of medical practitioners has now recognized the important role of yoga as a supplementary and complementary therapy.
Yogic therapy treats patient as a whole, rather than treating only symptoms of diseases or disorders. This therapy goes beyond apparent causes and symptoms and tackles the root cause of the disease or disorder.
Therapeutic role of Yoga:
As per the studies conducted by US Health Dept., death rate by heart diseases has gone down in the US by 50% during last 25 years. This is just due to proper life-style management. More and more Americans are now becoming vegetarians and taking to daily exercise. Yoga and meditation has helped them to control blood pressure. Hypertension can regress with proper life-style management and practice of Yoga/Meditation.
Adopt a Proper Life Style: By adopting a proper life-style and making Yoga a way of life, one can surely prevent as well as cure Hypertension. Yoga is also beneficial in speedy rehabilitation of a patient. Following are some of the aspects of proper life-style :
- Daily Ushapan (drink potable water in the morning 2 to 3 glasses), which helps in effective elimination of waste products.
- Satvik (nutritious), simple mitahar i.e. diet free of excessive oil and saturated fats. Minimize salt consumption.
- Consciously be aware of the tenets of Yama (non violence, truthfulness, non stealing, continence, non hoarding) and Niyama ( purity, contentment, penance, self study, self surrender to the Supreme). Sincerely try to follow them in your life to the extent possible.
- Practice mind-purging techniques like Sakshibhavana, Bhavana Vimochana. etc.
- Don't suppress emotions. Laugh or smile as often as you can. Cry or express anger when it is unbearable.
- When something worries you, take it out. Don't keep it within yourself.
- Take a quick mental break by visualizing your favorite place in mind; it can either be mountains or ocean or the serene place you visited last. Get absorbed in the seeing, smelling, hearing the things you visualized and relive the soothing experience just by visualizing it as and when you wish
- Have a moderation in everything.
- Do mild exercises regularly and maintain body weight and fitness at desired level.
- Avoid alcohol and usage of tobacco in any form.
- What's fun for you is very good for you. Indulge in your interests and hobbies when you can.
- If you are worrying all the time for yourself, why not worry for difficulties of others and do something helpful for them? This will give you a lot of happiness.
- Forget the Superman/Superwoman image. No one can be perfect in everything.
- Have 'Satsang' i.e. be in good atmosphere, be in good company, read religious and spiritual books and do Swadhyaya (reading spiritual books). This will help in keeping "six enemies" under your control.
- Adopt positive and optimistic approach in life. Have adaptability.
- Shed your ego and cultivate cheerfulness.
- Do recommended Yoga Asanas faithfully, regularly and according to your capacity.
- Meditate regularly.