Which LION are you?

Contributed by:  bharathi.sarkar @ netafim-india.com

Future Generali method:

Hire a lion. Give him full rest & make him lazy, Pay him more than his Expectation, never ask him to do any work for six months, after six months. Tell him that now you have to fulfill your yearly target within six months. Otherwise u will be kicked out from the jungle. Lion dies due to fear, that if he loses this "lazy animals jungle", where he will go.

ICICI Pru method:
Hire a lion. Give him hell lot of work and pay him lower salary than industry. Restructure his job, position, boss, colleagues, designation, department, salary, location every 6 months. If he kills 2 goats a day, give him target of killing 20 elephants a day, when there are just 10 elephants in the jungle. Lion dies of exhaustion, overkill and restructuring.

Tata Aig method:
Hire a lion and give him the post of a cat, ask him to meow like a cat. Give him lots of ESOPs and grass to eat. He will die eventually of hope and starvation.

Bajaj Alliance method:
Hire the lion & ask him to extract 60 kg meat out of a 40kg goat. Lion dies of the strain.

Canara Hsbc Method:
Hire a lion and give him a 3000 page (stupid) circular on the process and compliance reg how to kill a goat. Amend the circular at least three times a day. Send him on inspection to the jungle, where he can threaten to cancel the hunting license of any fox, wolf, bear, jackal etc who have violated any provision of the 3000 page circular. Lion dies of boredom.

Birla Method:
Recruits a lion, give him 50kg meat everyday to eat when he can't eat more than 20kg. Lion dies due to overeating.
Finally.........................

Reliance Method:
Hire a lion, send him to kill a goat. When he happily kills the goat, ask him to make the goat alive and kill a donkey instead and send at least 1000 mails and reminders to him with copy to all his superiors. Mmm......sure, the lion will suicide

 

 

How to kill a Lion - Telecom style

Vodafone Method:
Hire a lion. Give him full rest & make him lazy, Pay him more than his Expectation, never ask him to do any work for six months (waiting for spectrum!!), after six months. Tell him that now you have to fulfill your yearly target within six months. Otherwise u will be kicked out from the jungle. Lion dies due to fear, that if he loses this "lazy animals jungle", where he will go.

Airtel method:
Hire a lion. Give him hell lot of work and pay him lower salary than industry. Restructure his job, position, boss, colleagues, designation, department, salary, location every 6 months. If he kills 2 goats a day, give him target of killing 20 elephants a day, when there are just 10 elephants in the jungle. Lion dies of exhaustion, overkill and restructuring.

Tatamethod:
Hire a lion and give him the post of a cat, ask him to meow like a cat. Give him lots of ESOPs and grass to eat. He will die eventually of hope and starvation.


Aircelmethod:
Hire the lion & ask him to extract 60 kg meat out of a 40kg goat. Lion dies of the strain.

BSNL Method:
Hire a lion and give him a 3000 page (stupid)circular on how to kill a goat. Amend the circular at least three times a day. Send him on inspection to the jungle, where he can threaten to cancel the hunting license of any fox, wolf, bear, jackal etc who have violated any provision of the 3000 page circular. Lion dies of boredom.

!deaMethod:
Recruits a lion, give him 50kg meat everyday to eat when he can't eat more than 20kg. Lion dies due to overeating.

Finally.........................

Reliance Method:

Hire a lion, send him to kill a goat. When he happily kills the goat, ask him to make the goat alive and kill a donkey instead and send at least 1000 mails and reminders to him with copy to all his superiors. Mmm……sure, the lion will suicide