And then the fight started...

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started.

*************************

 

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a weighing scale.

And then the fight started.

***************************

 

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.

So, I took her to a petrol pump

And then the fight started.

***************************

 

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and my wife kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked my wife, 'Do you know him?'

'Yes,' she sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend.

I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' I said to my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started.

• Deft & Daft Definitions
• High Expectations
• Common Sense

***************************

 

My wife is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror.

She is not happy with what she sees and says to me,

'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.

***************************

 

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Kingfisher for 500 rs.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for 300 rs.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream..

And then the fight started..

***************************

 

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I've not been in a long time.” So I took her to the kitchen. Then the fight started