☺ If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
☺ Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
☺ Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.
☺ Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
☺ A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
☺ If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
☺ My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
☺ If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
☺ Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.
☺ Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
☺ A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel good.
☺ Alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who is in a hurry?
☺ Can you do anything that other people can't? Sure, I can read my handwriting!
☺ Divorce has become so common that my wife and I are staying married just to be different.
☺ When a wife was asked,"What book do you like best?" she answed "My husband's cheque book."
☺ Your future depends on your dreams, So go to sleep.
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