The goal is to do acts of kindness out of love for kindness and out of love for people. It is doing kindness for the pure benefit of the people for whom you are doing it. The focus is on helping another and not on what you personally gain. Being human it is natural for us to have ulterior motives at the beginning. Some of them are:
· Doing kindness in order to feel that you are a good person.
· Doing kindness so this person will do you favors in return.
· Doing kindness so other people will have greater respect for you.
· Doing kindness in order to save yourself from the embarrassment of what people will think if you refuse.
· Doing kindness so you can boast about it.
· Doing kindness so this person will be indebted to you.
· Doing kindness so you will be loved because you are terrified that you might be unlovable.
This does not mean that we should wait to begin to do acts of kindness until we are able to have totally pure motivations. Itʼs impossible to tell how long that will take. It does mean, however, that it is imperative for us to recognize why we are doing what we are doing. Itʼs normal to have mixed emotions. We do a kind act in part because we want to help another person or because we care about this individual and also because we want this person to help us or because we want to feel good about ourselves.
When you meet someone who has a sincere love for kindness, you can tell. Their entire being conveys this message, "Iʼm glad you asked me. Whatever I possibly can do for you, it is my great pleasure to do. You donʼt owe me anything at all for what I have done. And please feel free to ask me again in the future." Such a person lives a joyous life out of the goodness of his heart. This is a goal worth striving for.
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