#Complete #Confusion #Hilarious

A Conversation between Mr. Watt and William Knott...

"Who's calling?" was the answer to the telephone.

"Watt."

"What is your name, please?"

"Watt's my name."

"That's what I asked you. What's your name?"

"That's what I told you. Watt's my name."

A long pause, and then from Watt, "Is this James Brown?"

"No, this is Knott."

"Please tell me your name."

"Will Knott."

"Why not?"

"Huh? What do you mean why not?"

"Yeah! Why won't you tell me your name?"

"But I told you my name!"

"Didn't you say you will not?"

"Not not, Knott, Will Knott!"

"That's what I mean."

"So you know my name."

"Of course not!"

"Good. So now, what is yours?"

"Watt. Yours?"

"Your name!"

"Watt's my name."

"How the hell do I know? I am asking you!"

"Look I have been very patient and I have told you my name and you have

not even told me yours yet."

"You have been patient, what about me?"

"I have told you my name so many times and it is you who have not told

me yours yet."

"Of course not!"

"See, you even know my name!"

"Of course not!"

"Then why do you keep saying of course Knott?"

"Because I don't."

[Pause]

"What is your name?"

"See, you know my name!"

"Of course not!"

"Then why do you keep asking ,Watt, is your name?"

"To find out your name!"

"But you already know it!"

"What?"

"See, but you know mine!"

"Of course not!"

"Exactly!"

NOW THEY ARE AT A POINT WHERE BOTH THINK THE OTHER KNOWS THEIR NAME, BUT

THEY THEMSELVES DON'T KNOW THE OTHER'S NAME.

"Listen, listen, wait; if I asked you what your name is, what will be

your answer?"

"Watt's my name."

"No, no, give me only one word."

"Watt"

"Your name!"

"Right!"

[Pause before it hits him]

"Oh, Wright!"

"Yeah!"

"So why didn't you say it before?"

"I told you so many times!"

"You never said Wright before"

"Of course I did."

"Ok I won't argue any more. Do you know my name?"

"I do not."

"Well, there you go, now we know each other's name."

"I do not!"

"Good!"

[Pause before it hits him]

"Oh, Guud!"

"Good."

"No wonder, it took me so long, is that Dutch?"

"No, it's Knott!"

"Oh, okay. At least the names are clear now Guud."

"Yes Wright."

Top 10 Remedies for Sinus Headaches

1. Dip a small towel in cold water, rinse, and apply to forehead. Once the towel gets warm, flip it to the other side, or dip it into cold water again.

2. Lying down, in a dark room, maybe getting a 1/2 hour of sleep, will always make you feel better.

3. A decoction of half a teaspoon mustard seeds powder and three teaspoons water, if instilled in the nostrils, redresses migraine.

4. The juice of ripe grapes is an effective home remedy for a migraine.

5. For a sinus headache, eat a jalapeno pepper as soon as possible. Within minutes your sinuses will start to drain and the sinus headache will subside.

6. A peppermint steam inhalation provides quick relief for sinus headaches. Peppermint acts as a decongestant, and the combination of warm steam and the essential oil is doubly effective for opening up the sinuses.

7. Mix 1 teaspoon finely ground cinnamon (called dalchini in India) in 1 teaspoon water and apply on the forehead. It is very effective in headache due to exposure to cold air.

8. Make a paste from dry ginger with a little water or milk, apply to the forehead for sinus relief.

9. Grind 10-15 Basil leaves with 4 cloves and 1 teaspoon dried ginger into a paste and apply to forehead for sinus cure.

10. For a painful sinus headache, try a hot footbath along with a cold compress on the forehead.

Top 8 Remedies for Hiccups / Hiccoughs

1. Place a tablespoon of sugar in mouth and suck slowly. In most cases, it is a sure remedy.

2. Hold your breath as long as possible, and let it go out. The lungs expand and push down on the diaphragm, stopping hiccups immediately.

3. Mix 2 teaspoon common salt in a cup of plain yogurt and eat. In most cases, it is a good remedy.

4. Boil ½ teaspoon of cardamom fresh powder in 2 cups of water till about 1 cup remains. Sieve it and drink a glassful of this warm water.

5. For recurring hiccups, suck small pieces of fresh ginger.

6. Plug your ears with your fingers and drink something with a straw.

7. Lay on your back.  Put a paper bag over your mouth and nose and breathe several times.

9. For some eating a spoonful peanut butter stops hiccups immediately. It can work for children also.

Eat More, Weigh Less

ONE OF the biggest complaints from folks who are trying to eat less to lose weight is that they are constantly hungry. But cutting back on calories doesn't have to mean eating less food.

Yes, you can actually eat a greater volume of food if you know what to choose and what to avoid. Some foods are more "nutrient dense," which means they pack a lot more calorie punch per bite. These are generally the high-fat foods like full-fat dairy, cheeses, oils, butter, cream sauces and high-fat meats like a rib-eye steak. This doesn't mean banning nutrient-dense foods from your diet, but it does mean using them more as accessories and limiting portions.

Eating more to weigh less is not a new concept. However, you have to eat more of the right foods.

Fruits and vegetables contain water and fibre and so are lower in calories. Legumes such as peas and beans, brown rice and whole-grain breads and cereals are in the filling but lower-incalories-per-serving crowd, too. Eat more of these foods more often and you'll feel full while cutting back on total calories. They will also help deliver your daily fibre and nutrient needs.

Some creative ways to fill up your plate while cutting calories Eat fruit for breakfast Along with your toast and milk, make sure you have some fruit that will help you feel full for longer.

If you prefer cereal for breakast, add 1/2 cup berries or 1/2 sliced banana to breakfast cereal to help fill up the bowl and your stomach. Or make a parfait with low-fat granola, nonfat yogurt and 1/2 cup berries for a snack. Drink before your meals Drink more water or unsweetened iced tea before and with your meals. (Be careful of some of the flavoured or enhanced waters; some contain sweeteners - which means more calories.

More egg whites Pump up the volume on omelets by adding egg whites, in stead of an extra egg, and plenty of vegetables. Rethink your noodles Change your pasta by choosing whole-wheat noodles, which are higher in fibre and therefore more filling. Add vegetables to bulk up the pasta sauce. Soup up appetisers

When eating out, try a salad or soup as an appetiser. Not all salads, however, are created equal. Avoid large amounts of dressing, cheese, nuts and fried noodles. These "nutrient dense" toppings are all fine if used sparingly.

Choose broth-based soups in stead of cream-based soups. (Water in the soup helps fill you up, too.) Feel full longer with fibre Choose whole grains. The fiber in the whole grains increases absorption time in your digestive tract, so you feel full longer. You can find whole-wheat pasta, whole-grain pancakes and breads at many restaurants. Ditch the meat now and then Be a vegetarian once in a while.

Eat often, stay energetic Don't starve yourself. Eat every three hours to keep your energy level up. On the go? Keep sliced veggies and fruit in plastic bags. At home, keep snacks such as sliced vegetables, hummus, fruit salads, whole fruits, nonfat or low-fat yoghurts, and pre-made salads in the fridge. You'll feel like you're eating all the time.

Just Six Steps to Controlling Low Blood Pressure

Low blood pressure, also known as hypotension, is a condition in which a person’s blood pressure becomes so low that it causes symptoms like dizziness, fainting, fatigue, nausea, difficulty breathing, blurred vision, palpitations, and cold, clammy skin.  Although not as common as hypertension or high blood pressure, it still manifests in a small proportion of the populace, often due to psychosomatic reasons. 

Low blood pressure results in inadequate flow of blood to vital organs such as the brain, kidneys and the heart itself.  Physical reasons include dehydration, nutritional deficiencies due to self-imposed diets, decrease in blood volume, endocrine disorders but psychosomatic causes are more likely in a majority of the cases.  It is also quite probable that psychosomatic reasons for low blood pressure can manifest in other physical problems such as lower back pain, etc.

Although it is advisable to tackle the psychosomatic causes with psychological tools such as hypnosis, NLP and other psychological tools, one can still control the incidence with lifestyle and dietary habits.  Here are the few things that you must do –

Mindfulness Meditation

It is a proven fact that meditation helps high blood pressure, but it can aid low blood pressure too, if the activity is well directed and coupled with mindfulness to ascertain psychosomatic causes.  The easiest, almost effortless manner in which you can be mindful and attain alpha levels of mind is Nirmiti Nidra. 

Juices

Drinking 30 ml of Aloe Vera Juice every morning along with lemon water to balance the pH levels is very important.  Since hydration is often a cause, make it two glasses of warm water as soon as you wake up, first thing in the morning.  Refer to the previous article for more details.  Raw carrot + beetroot juice is helpful in dealing with high as well as low blood pressure. For hypotension, drink a cup of carrot + beetroot juice twice daily for about one week and then at least 5 cups per week. 

Herbs

Holy basil is beneficial for low blood pressure because it is rich in vitamin C, magnesium, potassium, and pantothenic acid. Furthermore, it helps balance the mind and reduces stress.  You can chew four to five basil leaves daily in the morning.  Licorice root is another popular home remedy for normalizing low blood pressure caused by low levels of cortisol. It blocks the enzyme that breaks down cortisol and supports healthy adrenalin function. It is also effective in curing chronic fatigue syndrome.  Rosemary is believed to be useful in normalizing low blood pressure because it stimulates the central nervous system and improves circulation.

Salt and Sodium

Salt water helps treat low blood pressure because the sodium in salt increases blood pressure. Do not overdo this remedy though, as excess salt can prove to be unhealthy. Simply mix one-half teaspoon of salt in a glass of water and drink it. You can also drink sports beverages. 

Caffeine

A cup of strong coffee every morning or hot chocolate or any caffeinated beverage can also temporarily increase your blood pressure. It is smart to drink this beverage at a time when you normally experience fatigue or low pressure symptoms.  You can also have it along with meals – since pressure tends to drop after meals for most people, it makes sense to have low carb meals several times a day followed by a half cup of coffee.

Almonds

Soak about 5 to 8 almonds in water overnight.  The next morning, peel off the skin and grind the almonds into a smooth paste along with a little milk.  Thereafter, boil the paste in milk and drink a cup of this along with your breakfast each morning.

Just Six Steps to Controlling High Blood Pressure

If you've recently been diagnosed with high blood pressure, it is quite likely that you have also been prescribed medications to bring your numbers down.  However, you should be worried about taking medications that could last lifelong and create a dependency on them. 

High blood pressure, especially in the initial stages can be successfully controlled with a healthy lifestyle and with certain changes in your dietary habits (inclusions and exclusions).  There are also a few herbs and natural remedies that are proven highly effective to check high blood pressure.  This article lists out all that can help you, provided you discipline yourself and have the courage of your convictions to start immediately combined with a strong desire to heal yourself without medications.

Meditation

The American Heart Association in their article on Meditation and Heart Health talk about the promising results about the impact of meditation in reducing blood pressure. A 2012 study showed people with heart disease who practiced Meditation regularly were 48 percent less likely to have a heart attack or stroke.  Yet, inspite of the innumerable techniques that are available, many find it difficult to meditate.  Nirmiti Nidra is one of the easiest, effortless yet effective techniques to de-stress and meditate by using self-hypnosis modalities.   And it takes just half a day to learn the technique.

Morning routine

There are innumerable articles on the beneficial effects of lemons and lemon water especially with regard to pH levels in your body.  The Pectin in lemons can help lower the cholesterol which causes high blood pressure. Flavonoids, as well as vitamin P, also help strengthen the blood vessels themselves and lower the risk of damage to them, due to high blood pressure. It takes just two minutes to prepare a glass of warm water with half a lemon squeezed into it and have it first thing in the morning as soon as you get up.  And if you can add 30 ml of Aloe Vera juice to your morning routine additionally, super!

Exercise

Regular physical activity for at least 30 minutes five days of the week can lower your blood pressure.  It's important to be consistent because if you stop exercising, your blood pressure can rise again. The best types of exercise for lowering blood pressure include walking, jogging, cycling, swimming or dancing.  If in doubt or in severe cases, talk to your doctor about developing an exercise program.

Less sodium, more potassium

Even a small reduction in the sodium in your diet can reduce blood pressure by 2 to 8 mm Hg.  To reduce sodium in your diet, make sure you use minimal salt whilst cooking (those who require more can add salt later to their food) and read food labels especially in case of processed foods.  Potassium can lessen the effects of sodium on blood pressure. The best source of potassium is food, such as fruits and vegetables, rather than supplements.

Herbs

The eight herbs that are known to be beneficial in controlling high blood pressure include Basil, Cinnamon, Cardamom, Garlic, Hawthorn, Celery, French Lavender and Cat’s Claw.  Find ways to include small quantities in your diet.

Diet

Eating a diet that is rich in whole grains, fruits, vegetables and skimps on saturated fat and cholesterol can lower your blood pressure by up to 14 mm Hg. This eating plan is known as the Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension (DASH) diet.

There are also some herbal and ayurvedic medications / supplements that you can include, which will not cause a dependency and may have little or nil side effects, but I am not including them in this article.