Learning how to actively listen requires patience and practice:
Seek common ground. Find nuggets that you DO agree with and that interest you. You'll listen better when you're interested.
Focus on what the speaker is trying to say. Don't rush to judgment because someone cannot verbalize very well. It's easy to be so busy judging the speaker on technique, appearance and personality that you no longer listen to the words.
Wait until the speaker finishes. Resist the urge to jump to conclusions after a few words, and don't develop your response — positive or negative — while the person is speaking. When you're developing a response, you aren't listening.
Summarize main ideas. As you listen, summarize what the speaker says and concentrate on finding the main gist of the words. This is "mental note-taking." If it's appropriate, take physical notes on the important points so you can refresh your memory at a later time.
Avoid distractions. If you're in an office, turn away from the windows, mute the phone and the radio, and don't pay attention to email or the Crackberry Blackberry. Give your FULL attention to the person speaking. If you're attending a presentation or a class, sit in the front rows. You'll be amazed how many fewer interruptions and distractions there are. You'll also be amazed at how much better you can listen.
Don't filter the message. If you put up a filter of preconceived ideas or other past experiences, you'll only hear what you expect to hear. That isn't listening!
Read between the lines. Observe the speaker's body language to help you listen with your eyes and ears to ensure a better understanding of the message.
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