Deft Definitions

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

 

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

 

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

 

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

 

Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.

 

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

 

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

 

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

 

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

 

Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.

 

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

 

Father: A banker provided by nature.

 

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

 

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

 

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

 

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

 

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

 

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

 

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

 

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

 

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

 

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

 

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

 

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

 

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

 

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