Thoughts on Exercise

☺       I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.

 

☺       I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

 

☺       My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.

 

☺       I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

 

☺       The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

 

☺       I joined a health club last year, spent about 10000 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

 

☺       I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

 

☺       The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

 

☺       If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country